Though I do not proclaim to be the prefect parent, (my kids, and husband AND neighbors for that matter can attest to that) I have learned a few things in my short life that have helped me along the way. (Especially in the last few months) Here are a few things I’ve learned.
Kids need limits! Kids will push and push and if you do not have concrete limits, they will continue to push until they have gone too far. Rules are a must and there must be consequence to breaking them.
Kids need structure! I started a new chore chart that my kids know they have to complete before they can play. It includes homework, piano practice, emptying recycle, etc. My oldest has done great with this and he knows just what is expected of him. It takes the nagging out of the day and all I have to do is ask to see, or ask if he has done his chart.
Kids need to feel important and empowered! Kids need choices. Kids need rewards. They don’t have to be monetary or extravagant. My oldest had a really good week, so as a reward, he got to say up and watch a movie with his parents. He earned that right and he felt special.
Kids need love, even 10 year old boys! I learned that I need to find out how my kids need to be loved and what ways to do it. Everyone feels love differently. Time is a big one. Being interested in the things they are doing. (Even if it is not interesting to me at all.)
Kids need to learn the value of money! My kids can earn as much of as little as they want each month. We don’t give them “allowance”, they earn “Income”. Their chore charts are called time cards and they are responsible for marking it when they do the job. If they don’t mark it, they won’t get paid for it. I am also trying to teach them responsibility, and returning and reporting. Each chore has a value. (Younger kids .05, older .10 per chore) They can also get points taken away for fighting, dishonesty, etc.
Kids need to learn the pride and joy of a job well done! This is where the reward comes in. It could be time with parents, it could be a special plate at dinner, and it could just be a “Good Job Honey, I Love You!” My kids also see it in their paycheck at the end of the month.
Kids need to learn the value of work! We are trying to teach our kids more about service. We are trying to teach them that sometimes you do things because you love someone and they could benefit from you services.
Kids need a controlled environment! Controlled, NOT controlling. If you home is chaotic, and clutter, that will reflect in their attitude and behavior. Mine too! When my kids are out of control, if they are fighting too much, that constitutes for a “No Media Week”. They don’t have TV, computer or video games for a week. They aren’t happy for the first few days, but by the end, they found their toys and even enjoy playing together again. I have also said no friends until they can treat each other with respect and kindness.
Kids need nutritious, balance diets! My kids are not allowed to not eat something just because they don’t think they like it. They are also not required to “be a member of the clean the plate club” as I was. I have had to deal with varying degrees of food allergies with my kids and they are all creatures of habit. One of my kids in particular view eating more as a chore that a pleasure. He would rather starve than find something to eat. He will also eat the same thing everyday if I let him. (He is so me) I have had to really step back and look at their diets and see where we could improve. Malnutrition can be the cause of moodiness, slow growth and even depression.
As I said, these are some things that I have learned. I am not always the best at it. My kitchen in chaos and looks like it blew up because I am going through cook books, I watch more TV than I should and eat junk for snacks, but I am working each day to be a better mom for my kids and wife for my husband.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Great tips!
Hi Jamie,
I looked up your benny on a budget blog and just wanted to commend you for your family's desire to get out of debt. So many people choose to not take action or even admit to themselves that they can make changes in the way they live, think, and spend money. People assume quick fixes will take care of their problems as opposed to choosing true financial freedom, which involves a lifelong way of thinking and living. You're right, finances are the most difficult, hush, hush topic for people to converse about. This is because it isn't just about money. The way we spend money is more an outward manifestation of our inner values and behavioral patterns. That's why people get so easily defensive at the thought that they might not know how to control their spending/finances.
If you haven't already heard of these, I thought you might enjoy reading these 10 financial principles that are great little maxims for living:
Take care and good luck on reaching your goals!
Jen
Ten Financial Principles Everyone Should Know (...and live by...)
No, I'm not on a soap box. I really just felt like posting this because I love to be reminded of simple maxims for living. With our nation experiencing it's current economical crisis, I thought it'd be nice to post these basic financial principles that I've learned that can easily be forgotten as we live day to day. For those of you who are LDS, I've included scripture references that correlate with each principle. Take some time to ponder the concepts - it'll be fun! :)
Ok, here we go:
1. Financial problems are usually behavior problems rather than money problems. (Matthew 25:14-18)
2. If you continue doing what you have been doing, you will continue getting what you have been getting. (Galatians 6:7)
3. Nothing (No-Thing) is worth risking the relationship for. (1 Timothy 6:7-11)
4. Money spent on things you value usually leads to a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. Money spent on things you don't value usually leads to a feeling of frustration and futility. (Matthew 6:24, 31-33)
5. We know the price of everything and the value of nothing. (Matthew 6:19-21)
6. You can never get enough of what you don't need, because what you don't need can never satisfy you. (2 Nephi 9:51)
7. Financial freedom is more often the result of decreased spending than of increased income. (Proverbs 21:20)
8. Be grateful for what you have. (Ephesians 5:20)
9. The best things in life are free. (1 Corinthians 2:12)
10. The value of an individual should never be equated with his or her net worth. (Matthew 16:26, Doctrine and Covenants 18:10)
It's easy to look at these principles and think "Duh, that's common sense!" But if we look at ourselves and the world around us we'll quickly learn that common sense doesn't always equal common knowledge practiced. Let's all try harder to act more responsibly over all that we've been blessed with.
(10 Principles and correlating scripture references taken from "For Love and Money: How to share the same checkbook and still love each other" by Bernard E. Poduska, c.1995)
I looked up your benny on a budget blog and just wanted to commend you for your family's desire to get out of debt. So many people choose to not take action or even admit to themselves that they can make changes in the way they live, think, and spend money. People assume quick fixes will take care of their problems as opposed to choosing true financial freedom, which involves a lifelong way of thinking and living. You're right, finances are the most difficult, hush, hush topic for people to converse about. This is because it isn't just about money. The way we spend money is more an outward manifestation of our inner values and behavioral patterns. That's why people get so easily defensive at the thought that they might not know how to control their spending/finances.
If you haven't already heard of these, I thought you might enjoy reading these 10 financial principles that are great little maxims for living:
Take care and good luck on reaching your goals!
Jen
Ten Financial Principles Everyone Should Know (...and live by...)
No, I'm not on a soap box. I really just felt like posting this because I love to be reminded of simple maxims for living. With our nation experiencing it's current economical crisis, I thought it'd be nice to post these basic financial principles that I've learned that can easily be forgotten as we live day to day. For those of you who are LDS, I've included scripture references that correlate with each principle. Take some time to ponder the concepts - it'll be fun! :)
Ok, here we go:
1. Financial problems are usually behavior problems rather than money problems. (Matthew 25:14-18)
2. If you continue doing what you have been doing, you will continue getting what you have been getting. (Galatians 6:7)
3. Nothing (No-Thing) is worth risking the relationship for. (1 Timothy 6:7-11)
4. Money spent on things you value usually leads to a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. Money spent on things you don't value usually leads to a feeling of frustration and futility. (Matthew 6:24, 31-33)
5. We know the price of everything and the value of nothing. (Matthew 6:19-21)
6. You can never get enough of what you don't need, because what you don't need can never satisfy you. (2 Nephi 9:51)
7. Financial freedom is more often the result of decreased spending than of increased income. (Proverbs 21:20)
8. Be grateful for what you have. (Ephesians 5:20)
9. The best things in life are free. (1 Corinthians 2:12)
10. The value of an individual should never be equated with his or her net worth. (Matthew 16:26, Doctrine and Covenants 18:10)
It's easy to look at these principles and think "Duh, that's common sense!" But if we look at ourselves and the world around us we'll quickly learn that common sense doesn't always equal common knowledge practiced. Let's all try harder to act more responsibly over all that we've been blessed with.
(10 Principles and correlating scripture references taken from "For Love and Money: How to share the same checkbook and still love each other" by Bernard E. Poduska, c.1995)
We did it!
We made it through the month with out buy anything unnecessary! It can be done. You can go an entire month making dinner every night and not eating out, really, we did! We saved over $550.00 this month by only spending our food budget ($500.00)! Now I must confess, there were a few things that I HAD to buy that were not food items. Connor had one pair of sock and I figured it would cost more to wash them everyday than to go get some new ones, and Connor was not into the whole "make your own Valentine's", so we did have to make some "special" purchases, but I used our food money!
I am just so proud of us for sticking to the plan. There were times that John and I wanted to give up, but we helped each other during those times and pushed through. It's just a good thing we weren't both having a bad day on the same day!
Alright, for this month I am going to try couponing! I am a little nervous about this one and I have my friend walk me through the process, but I think I just need to do it to see if it will work for us. I tried price matching last month and that was pretty cool. So, it you have any great couponing ideas, I would love to hear them. Here is what I know so far.
*I am getting 4 paper (I guess the daily Herald is the cheapest and has a deal called "the savvy shopper" which gives you 5 papers at a really good price. I guess I messed up on that one already!)
*You go to pinchingyourpennies.com and see all the deals at all the different stores
*Walmart does price matching (you just tell them what you will pay for you stuff, nice!)
*There are things called Beer Rebates that are either back by the beer or at customer service. You don't have to buy beer to get them, just usually specific products. (Walmart does not have them)
That's all I can think of right now. Please post any other great deals and ideas on couponing or saving money!
I am just so proud of us for sticking to the plan. There were times that John and I wanted to give up, but we helped each other during those times and pushed through. It's just a good thing we weren't both having a bad day on the same day!
Alright, for this month I am going to try couponing! I am a little nervous about this one and I have my friend walk me through the process, but I think I just need to do it to see if it will work for us. I tried price matching last month and that was pretty cool. So, it you have any great couponing ideas, I would love to hear them. Here is what I know so far.
*I am getting 4 paper (I guess the daily Herald is the cheapest and has a deal called "the savvy shopper" which gives you 5 papers at a really good price. I guess I messed up on that one already!)
*You go to pinchingyourpennies.com and see all the deals at all the different stores
*Walmart does price matching (you just tell them what you will pay for you stuff, nice!)
*There are things called Beer Rebates that are either back by the beer or at customer service. You don't have to buy beer to get them, just usually specific products. (Walmart does not have them)
That's all I can think of right now. Please post any other great deals and ideas on couponing or saving money!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Ideas and information welcome, no WANTED!
I just want to thank everyone for your words of encouragement and all the money saving tips. I have had friends and family sharing their budget ideas, ways to save on formula, and even a website for a weekly news letter. I want to share them with you and ask that you post any great information on this site for all to see.
Enjoy! And thanks again!
Budget Ideas
I love your new blog about finances. I think it's great that you've been able to change your habits and make things work. That's such a relieving feeling. I thought I'd share some of things we do with you, and maybe something will help:) Before Tyler and I got married we mapped out our finances and decided who would pay what. Because Tyler keeps a detailed register, and I manage my finances by having 4 separate accounts, we keep our money separate but are completely honest with each other about all our spending. When we first got married money was really tight (after paying for wedding stuff and tuition and everything). So when I started by internship at RR Donnelley and started getting paid almost twice as much, we acted like we still had the same income. I put $300 away every paycheck so that we wouldn't get used to the extra money (since it was only a 5 month internship), and so we could save up for a car. I had that money go right into a separate account and never withdrew any of it unless we had other car emergencies. During the 5 months of my internship we've saved $3000 and we'll be able to replace my truck with a car that actually runs and go on a cruise in December!A main backbone to our finances is an excel spreadsheet that I made to keep track of EVERY expense. Before the beginning of each month I estimate our income and expenses. If our income is a little less than expected then we see where we can cut back on expenses. Tyler gives me receipts and I ask him about his expenses so we can track everything. It's great to see how much we can save by doing this. Honestly, we haven't stuck exactly to it every month, but it does help to mentally know where we need to cut back and to see the outcome. The thing that has worked best for me is to have separate accounts. I have one account with automatic withdrawals for insurance, cell phone, and internet payments. I have another separate account just for savings (which is our car account right now), another account strictly for school, and just a normal checking account. I guess it's kind of my way of doing Dave Ramsey's envelope method thing. I know this doesn't work for everyone, cuz Tyler thinks I'm crazy for doing it that way, but I love it!Well, that's mostly how we've made things work for us. It's kept us on top of things and happy. It's so much better to have your money work for you, rather than have your money work you over. This semester has been really neat too because I have a class about Estate Planning, one on Retirement Planning, and one about Real Estate and home buying. I've really learned so much about money this semester I absolutely love it!
Lindsey
Save on formula
Just wanted to let you know that Costco has formula... you get two 25 oz cans for like 20$, buying the Kirkland brand saves me over half of the cost of name brand formulas.
Cathy
Helpful websites and newsletters
http://www.utahsaves.org/
daveramsey.com
mytotalmoneymakeover.com
(if you are a Zions bank customer, you can sign up for My Total Money Makeover for free for 3 months. You will receive news letter and a site to track your progress. It’s really fun! I think you have to get there from Zion’s page to get the deal.)
Enjoy! And thanks again!
Budget Ideas
I love your new blog about finances. I think it's great that you've been able to change your habits and make things work. That's such a relieving feeling. I thought I'd share some of things we do with you, and maybe something will help:) Before Tyler and I got married we mapped out our finances and decided who would pay what. Because Tyler keeps a detailed register, and I manage my finances by having 4 separate accounts, we keep our money separate but are completely honest with each other about all our spending. When we first got married money was really tight (after paying for wedding stuff and tuition and everything). So when I started by internship at RR Donnelley and started getting paid almost twice as much, we acted like we still had the same income. I put $300 away every paycheck so that we wouldn't get used to the extra money (since it was only a 5 month internship), and so we could save up for a car. I had that money go right into a separate account and never withdrew any of it unless we had other car emergencies. During the 5 months of my internship we've saved $3000 and we'll be able to replace my truck with a car that actually runs and go on a cruise in December!A main backbone to our finances is an excel spreadsheet that I made to keep track of EVERY expense. Before the beginning of each month I estimate our income and expenses. If our income is a little less than expected then we see where we can cut back on expenses. Tyler gives me receipts and I ask him about his expenses so we can track everything. It's great to see how much we can save by doing this. Honestly, we haven't stuck exactly to it every month, but it does help to mentally know where we need to cut back and to see the outcome. The thing that has worked best for me is to have separate accounts. I have one account with automatic withdrawals for insurance, cell phone, and internet payments. I have another separate account just for savings (which is our car account right now), another account strictly for school, and just a normal checking account. I guess it's kind of my way of doing Dave Ramsey's envelope method thing. I know this doesn't work for everyone, cuz Tyler thinks I'm crazy for doing it that way, but I love it!Well, that's mostly how we've made things work for us. It's kept us on top of things and happy. It's so much better to have your money work for you, rather than have your money work you over. This semester has been really neat too because I have a class about Estate Planning, one on Retirement Planning, and one about Real Estate and home buying. I've really learned so much about money this semester I absolutely love it!
Lindsey
Save on formula
Just wanted to let you know that Costco has formula... you get two 25 oz cans for like 20$, buying the Kirkland brand saves me over half of the cost of name brand formulas.
Cathy
Helpful websites and newsletters
http://www.utahsaves.org/
daveramsey.com
mytotalmoneymakeover.com
(if you are a Zions bank customer, you can sign up for My Total Money Makeover for free for 3 months. You will receive news letter and a site to track your progress. It’s really fun! I think you have to get there from Zion’s page to get the deal.)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
So far...
So far this month are doing really well. John and I were so excited to find out that when the pay check came this month, the balance WAS several hundred more than the deposit. Normally there is a few dollars more (or less if we went into the over draft). It seems like we have so much more money, but really, nothing has change but our way of thinking. It's crazy how much more money you can have (or think you have) when you just pay attention to where it is going. We are on track to have I think $700 extra this month. Wow! It kills me to think that there were times in the past that we could have been more conscious in our spending and not be in this mess.
There have been so many blessing in our lives since we made the decision to really buckle down and stick to our plan. I have had a friend call out of the blue and offer me a bag of flour and laundry soap on two separate occasions. I have had friends call and give me money saving tips and places to learn how to save money. We are getting more back in taxes than ever before, and the refinance on the house has had blessing after blessing show up. There was a Monday that I got a rebate check in the mail for almost the same amount that I had paid to my church the day before. This has been such an amazing experience already. Thank you to everyone that is lending their support to us.
Last week we went to the closing and that was so crazy. I guess the company that is doing it is very particular about your signature being the same and NO mistakes. I thought I was going to need a drink afterwards I was so stressed. At one point, John wrote the wrong date and you could just see the color leave his face. Luckily the lady had an extra copy of that sheet, otherwise, we would have had to set up a new closing and start over again. No pressure, right!?! As we went over the fees she kept commenting on how good our rate was, how low the fees were and could not believe how lucky we were. Luck, no, blessed, YES!
I had been going through the storage room the week before and pulled out some papers that John needed to go through. In that pile was paperwork from our last closing that would give us a 40% discount if we used them within so many years, blah, blah, blah. Well, we were so close to everything being finalized that if he would have waited even one more day, it would have been too late. We also locked our rate in at 4.875 just before it went up again.
As we were finishing she reminded us that we would not have a payment due until April, yes APRIL!!! We just looked at each other and smiled. (I know John was thinking DISNEYLAND) Well, after all is said and done, we will be paying only $22 more a month after combining our equity line and mortgage, pay off a CC that we used to finish our house projects and free up almost 300.00 more a month to pay on our student loans! Not to mention the extra money that we will have each paycheck for changing our deductions! THIS FEELS SO GOOD TO BE IN CONTROL!
Wow, hows that for numbers!
There have been so many blessing in our lives since we made the decision to really buckle down and stick to our plan. I have had a friend call out of the blue and offer me a bag of flour and laundry soap on two separate occasions. I have had friends call and give me money saving tips and places to learn how to save money. We are getting more back in taxes than ever before, and the refinance on the house has had blessing after blessing show up. There was a Monday that I got a rebate check in the mail for almost the same amount that I had paid to my church the day before. This has been such an amazing experience already. Thank you to everyone that is lending their support to us.
Last week we went to the closing and that was so crazy. I guess the company that is doing it is very particular about your signature being the same and NO mistakes. I thought I was going to need a drink afterwards I was so stressed. At one point, John wrote the wrong date and you could just see the color leave his face. Luckily the lady had an extra copy of that sheet, otherwise, we would have had to set up a new closing and start over again. No pressure, right!?! As we went over the fees she kept commenting on how good our rate was, how low the fees were and could not believe how lucky we were. Luck, no, blessed, YES!
I had been going through the storage room the week before and pulled out some papers that John needed to go through. In that pile was paperwork from our last closing that would give us a 40% discount if we used them within so many years, blah, blah, blah. Well, we were so close to everything being finalized that if he would have waited even one more day, it would have been too late. We also locked our rate in at 4.875 just before it went up again.
As we were finishing she reminded us that we would not have a payment due until April, yes APRIL!!! We just looked at each other and smiled. (I know John was thinking DISNEYLAND) Well, after all is said and done, we will be paying only $22 more a month after combining our equity line and mortgage, pay off a CC that we used to finish our house projects and free up almost 300.00 more a month to pay on our student loans! Not to mention the extra money that we will have each paycheck for changing our deductions! THIS FEELS SO GOOD TO BE IN CONTROL!
Wow, hows that for numbers!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I went to a Women’s Conference yesterday at my mother-in-laws Stake. It was wonderful to hear Brother and Sister Eyre speak and I was even more excited when I say that one of the classes was on Finance. Of coarse that was one of the classes that I attended, but I was soon disappointed and a little discourage with the teaching. Now the information was great and the speakers had put together a good presentation, I just thought that they were missing some very important points. They did give out a flyer with a quote that I thought was valuable and worth sharing.
“Create peace of mind through building some financial security for yourself… As you work toward getting your finances under control, you are bound to find your feelings of peace and happiness on the rise.” “Try an experiment; spend a whole month not purchasing anything in a store except your normal groceries and gasoline. When an item breaks, try repairing it instead of buying a new one. Make do with what you already have available to you. It’s amazing how creative you can become. Break the buying habit!” “We become a slave to our unnecessary possessions. They steal our time and our life from us, forcing us to leave home and to work longer and harder than we would otherwise need to.” “In our rush to obtain wealth, we often neglect, and sometimes forget, where our greatest treasure lies.” “Rather, the success of your life may more accurately be measured by how much true happiness you have experienced, how much spiritual growth you have achieved, and how many lives you have touched for good.” “Money, and more importantly how we pursue it and our attitude toward it, can be either a blessing or a curse in our lives. It can help us achieve greater happiness or can multiply our misery. Learn to use it wisely…” By Gregory Wille Happiness 101
This goes right along with the theme that I have chosen for our family this year; Fix it up, Use it up, Make it do, or Do without. We made the decision not to purchase any gifts for friends and family this year and have already been put to the test. We have made a gift for a birthday party, I made a table runner for my mother-in-law’s birthday that was today, and we made a CD of music that each of the kids helped put together for my brother-in-laws birthday. It really makes use think about the person and what they would like.
The quote also goes along with the theme that my in-laws have chosen for this year and that is to “Simplify”. I have spent a lot of time the last few weeks cleaning out closets, the storage room and drawers, getting rid of things we don’t need or making uses of the things we have. It has felt so good and I look forward to being able to spend more time taking care of my family and less time taking care of my stuff!
I think I would like to try the experiment of not buying anything extra for a month. (February is the shortest month!) I think I would be surprised at what I could save. January we were able to have almost $250 extra by being very conscious of what we spent. So here is the challenge, if you dare, only buy the things you need at the market. That is food. If you are running low on soup or shampoo, use the little bottles that you take form the hotels (don’t tell me I am the only one that has those under my sink). Be good, you can do anything for a month, it won’t kill you. Then we can report back and see how we did. Let me know if you are up for the challenge!
“Create peace of mind through building some financial security for yourself… As you work toward getting your finances under control, you are bound to find your feelings of peace and happiness on the rise.” “Try an experiment; spend a whole month not purchasing anything in a store except your normal groceries and gasoline. When an item breaks, try repairing it instead of buying a new one. Make do with what you already have available to you. It’s amazing how creative you can become. Break the buying habit!” “We become a slave to our unnecessary possessions. They steal our time and our life from us, forcing us to leave home and to work longer and harder than we would otherwise need to.” “In our rush to obtain wealth, we often neglect, and sometimes forget, where our greatest treasure lies.” “Rather, the success of your life may more accurately be measured by how much true happiness you have experienced, how much spiritual growth you have achieved, and how many lives you have touched for good.” “Money, and more importantly how we pursue it and our attitude toward it, can be either a blessing or a curse in our lives. It can help us achieve greater happiness or can multiply our misery. Learn to use it wisely…” By Gregory Wille Happiness 101
This goes right along with the theme that I have chosen for our family this year; Fix it up, Use it up, Make it do, or Do without. We made the decision not to purchase any gifts for friends and family this year and have already been put to the test. We have made a gift for a birthday party, I made a table runner for my mother-in-law’s birthday that was today, and we made a CD of music that each of the kids helped put together for my brother-in-laws birthday. It really makes use think about the person and what they would like.
The quote also goes along with the theme that my in-laws have chosen for this year and that is to “Simplify”. I have spent a lot of time the last few weeks cleaning out closets, the storage room and drawers, getting rid of things we don’t need or making uses of the things we have. It has felt so good and I look forward to being able to spend more time taking care of my family and less time taking care of my stuff!
I think I would like to try the experiment of not buying anything extra for a month. (February is the shortest month!) I think I would be surprised at what I could save. January we were able to have almost $250 extra by being very conscious of what we spent. So here is the challenge, if you dare, only buy the things you need at the market. That is food. If you are running low on soup or shampoo, use the little bottles that you take form the hotels (don’t tell me I am the only one that has those under my sink). Be good, you can do anything for a month, it won’t kill you. Then we can report back and see how we did. Let me know if you are up for the challenge!
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